From Surviving to Thriving!!

It is my hearts desire to create a safe place for people who are seeking a real and meaningful relationship with Christ Jesus. Many of us have grown up in 'religious systems' that dictated how we were to relate to our Savior. Many of us were left with more questions then answers! Many of us were left with more fear then faith! Many of us were ignored and cast out when we did not measure up! Many of us have been so disillusioned by the 'church system' or 'ministry machine' that we lost sight of who we are in Christ. This blog is a meeting place for those who are trying to return to their first love, Jesus Christ!! Welcome to a fellowship that will speak to the issues through the lens of the Word of God. My journey has been long but I see the absolute relevance of every experience that I encountered!! The battle is for our minds and we need each other to navigate this journey home!! Welcome!
aka kingsdaughter

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Recognizing the role of Toxic Shame in abusive ministries

Toxic shame is different from healthy shame.  Toxic shame tells us that we are a mistake and that no amount of problem solving can deliver us from our condition.  In abusive ministries we now understand that a single 'charasmatic' leader holds all of the power over the direction of that ministry.  That individual is the 'mouth piece' of God and is to be obeyed no matter how wrong their behavior or doctrine may be!!  Abusive ministries are closed systems that have a single leader surrounded by hand picked yes men/women who do his dirty work and ensure that others are towing the line and following all of the rigid rules that the system (not God) expects.  However they do it in the name of God and are experts at using scripture to make the people of God feel guilty if they do not obey them!!!  This is nothing new and has been going on for as long as there has been religion.  It is this dynamic that is permeating the church and creating new and even more abusive leaders.  They require the people of God who have been purchased by the blood of Jesus to bend their knee to their insatiable need for power and money.  These leaders become so used to being treated like rock stars that they begin to believe that they stand between you and God .  They threaten that you are committing 'spiritual suicide' if you choose to leave their ministries.  They use every toxic shame inducing method to obtain complete obedience and control over you and your understanding of who you are in Christ. 


  1. Great article Anne, hope you don't mind, I posted it on my site with a link to yours here. So true, I has seen this play out in many churches and it's leadership. Great article!

  2. THANKS ANNE!!! I love to see you started a blog and are writing articles now. That is awesome!!!. I'll link to you on our groupblog. TAKE GOOD CARE AND THANKS AGAIN!!!

  3. Thanks to both of you Damon and Mike and i consider that a great honor from both of you!!! It's time to get some folks delivered!!

  4. Amen! Praise God!

    Good word warning to the Body of Christ.

    Keep up the "God work".